Calamities. Cataclysms. Catastrophes.

Parting

2005-02-25T19:36:00.000+08:00

Karta seemed happy that we had arrived to see him off. He was in casual jeans and white shirt, and his usual spiked hairstyle. His voice had undeniably contracted a matish accent, different from the Karta I knew 4 months ago. His NY friends were there. His grandparents and mum was there. At that moment the gates to his plane, SQ 2, indicated that they were open.

A week ago, we had seen him in a Raffles T-shirt. That was funny alright, with it matching his poser character. And then, it seemed only a while ago, that Karta had worn his baggy scout uniform and boasted that one of the girls in the blue guide uniform had been his friend, and offered to talk to her, but eventually it had only been a scam. And yes, the life of Han Chong, painted by Karta and Gang. Alas, the $50 donated during Job Week, with a very suspicious perpetual 2 dollar donor list of people in the card, did still contribute to our second placing last year. With a teal colour over his scout uniform, he would remember himself as one of the green coats and not the white coats. That gave him a deeper understanding of bleach alright.

And the ostensible shuttlecock affair behind the curtains of the stage, a misdemeanour to be punishable by Ms Tang. And we could still laugh at our heinous crime, to engulf the incandescent Ms Tang with fury. Kenneth was unabashed, Karta was still feeling cheeky, and we all stole snatches of chats, while serving our punishment, when Ms Tang tilted her head to the side for a little stretch in her craning neck. That had been after the biology Prelims, no wonder her rage. The Eraser War Championships too ended in a draw, with no one sure of the dominant champion. And Karta had been a challenging contender. So free periods became eraser battles and recess times saw a need for ball games.

Our First Class Hike re-test had been a very memorable, hilarious but tense one too. We befriended taxi drives and cooled down on MRT trains. We set fire to ants and exploded lighters, not to mention one in his face. We tried to aggravate an ant hill, but realised the ground had been too hard to attack. We brought our handy guide to roaming Singapore and the topographical map almost became redundant. Disaster too had stricken us at the start when Rueben realised all of a sudden of the blankness of the map. Alas, his checkpoints were not on the map and our itinerary weren't with us. But luck had been with us, and Rueben tapped on the dark recesses of his brain and figured out the checkpoints. And at the final lap, they ate maggie cup noodles at my place and listened to loud music, unwary of the approaching deadline. So, it was understandable for the lateness with which we submitted the report. Two hours. Kai Urn had been compromising enough.

His favourite phrase still rings in my head. "FUCK OFF AND DIE!!" and he would push away, with me sniggering away. oh, the sweet memories. Remember your 2.4km run Karta? Don't walk.

I gave him a nickname too. Karnakarta Jojoba, extracted from the queer names in our texts to match his name. It was funny alright. Well, perhaps to myself.

We rushed up to him and shouted his name, with us all giving him a hug on the shoulder. Then he asked us whether more were coming and I replied a "I don't think so." His expression didn't seem to change. Well, there were around ten of us at least. And then he repeated his question, as though he had considered me as a madman talking to myself. I gave a louder "No.", and this time he had a subtle disappointed look and suggested picture taking. We gathered together for a photo shot with him in the center. His mum took the pictures for us with us all in a tight embrace around him. We talked and joked for a while more and took more photos.

Hong Siang then announced of the plane in BOARDING. Karta had to go. With more tighter embraces and pats of well meaning and handshakes of good luck, he took his tickets and passed it to the guard, while continuously waving back at us. He couldn't stop. And I didn't feel like too. Even past the immigration counter he continued waving back. At that moment, I thought back, why do I sense an epiphany of emotions? I felt my tears rolling. I wondered why I felt like that. I didn't think that I had been that close to him. But i still felt for him. Perhaps I had been wrong. Four years as a scout friend and 2 years as his classmate, that had to have created my feelings for him. I'll miss him. Even now, while typing, I feel like tearing. Perhaps, that was the reason for my moodiness today, the melancholy.

My friends behind had begun feeling irritated of his inccessant waving. I sensed the loneliness and nostalgia that he felt while leaving. He couldn't bear to part. Well, at least they made me laugh that caught back my tears. And around the corner, he disappeared into the crowd, to embark on his new journey alone. For Karta, I'll miss him, and for my memories with him, I'll preserve them, for posterity. Right now, down here.

Stage Fright.

2005-01-28T23:32:00.000+08:00

The microphone was passed to me. It felt heavy. I could sense myself trembling. My legs were convulsing. My heart was racing; I could hear and feel it pounding right in my chest. It was loud. I rubbed the black metal of microphone, and searched for the "on" button. No need for that. The last person hadn't switched it off, to my dismay. I scanned the crowd, and felt the encroachment of the intent eyes and the glaring faces, ruffled and restless. And then up in the crowds, I sensed expectations pinned upon me. My OGLs were all cheering for me, their gazes and cries, bursts of morale for myself.

I have never been in a crowd of such magnitude. Nor have I have had to stare at faces metres above my level before. It was a war of courage for me, a bout against sheer fright. And again, I felt those shivers. The same shiver that I had been struck with when my the Chinese examiners had been in front of me, staring at me with their menacing faces and their crooked smiles.

I knew I had to begin. I was dragging it for too long. They were waiting for me. I could not delay them further. Then I started my first sentence. It went well; I remembered the whole line, and delivered it successively. Then, I fumbled on my second sentence, I had begun to sense whiteness. A blurrified cloud, rushing into my mind. I felt blinded. The white patches, encircling my mind, covered up all traces of any memory left in me. The next sentence was received with blankness. I was in a state of oblivion. I shifted my head around. Scanned the crowds, with my voice projecting nothing, but my rapid breaths of unconsciousness. I felt like fainting. I had to fall, rest and close my eyes. Exhaustion began to take over my body. My legs felt as though they were about to give way. it wriggled like jelly, about to transit into a state of total collapse and disrepair.

And then, I heard the voices. The voices of the crowd. The chant of my name. Eng Wei Eng Wei. Yes, the crowd was still with me. I had not been derided or cast away. They still believed in me. Azzah and Jing Ting were jumping and cheering on me. I spotted Hui Yi and her friends blaring my name. I knew that I could go on, to continue and destroy the parasitic patch that was manifesting in my debilitated mind. I fought to annihilate such thoughts of blankness. I knew that there was a way. There had to be.

When the names of the excos was announced. I was not disappointed by my poor performance on stage, though I did not get the job. indeed, I did feel a sting in my side, but i did not have a valid reason for the sting to overshadow me for the weeks, months to come. He had won it by popularity, beaten my propagandic ways to a pulp. Perhaps my blunder on stage had caused a dip in the votes for me. Or maybe his speech had rung through the ears of every voter in the room and struck a lasting impact in their minds. But I am ascertain of what I had accomplished that day, and will continue to leave it as a legacy in my mind, to be spun as a tale of courage for later years, decades...

2005-01-14T22:11:00.000+08:00

OG 13

2005-01-09T23:35:00.000+08:00

Okay, perhaps I'll take back my last words. Orientation was great. Socially at least. Five days of it, and it gave me the courage to say 'yo, wassup!' to most boys. The bane of Victoria School still continues to exert it's effects on me. Courage was lacking. Boys were chicken feet. Girls would need loads of brazenness for me to really say hi. And until then, I'll stick with being shy and introverted.

A great lot they were, not to mention the Orientation Group Leaders too. Winston resembled Dharma. Bluriness seemed to be their commonplace. Even their walking style mimics each other- The drunken fashion. Quite. And there's cool Nian, with his spiked hair style, and the looks of a...cool person(aint cool enuf for words). A coincidence of names too appeared in our class, with there being two Matthias'. Contrastingly, they differ in size. LEP student, Yong Lin, shattered me when he proclaimed his standing in Chinese. Entirely, dominating. As for the girls, well, their beauty definitely shock me for words. One thing, I certainly do agree with Matthias Goh. Quite.

We got quite a number of OGLs too. Charles, with his sexy hairstyle(though illegal), would certainly arouse anyone. For starters, he's a great leader and a very sporting person. Cheers and Charles go well together. His smile, conspicious amongst the masses, with a lop-sided grin would turn me on, if I were a girl. There's Jing Ting too, with her sexy dance steps, and her slim figure. Mass dances mean watching, learning and practising. Eyes dart here and there in desperation to learn and keep up with the steps. And that leaves for greater opportunity for sexy dance moves to be spotted, inadvertently. Otherwise, she speaks and moves with GREAT enthusiasm. Shella's kinda obscure, with her only being with us for the first 2 days, and reappearing with a presentation of a western dance. Elizabeth, nicknamed libby(to replace for her extremely long name), has a love for calling her beloved objects by affectionate names. Feebee's the name of her phone and her pencil box xu ming?Am I right, but that gives me the impression of a girl whom would really love someone deeply... Aza, has a great laugh, with her voice leaving behind a melodious trail in my ears, and heh, she has a kind of penchant with using the word loser, makes me feel like laughing :P Lastly we have Abel. She has a very(yes very) shrill voice and a pretty face.( I don't mean that the rest aren't as good, but she just has special mention :))

I loved the mass dances, enjoyed the games, especially the urban hike, though I didn't like the replica of "Job Week". Damn.

I'm kinda attracted to the school culture, though it's very Chinese-orientated(pouts). But then again, my friends are all in VJC and I'm one of the few stranded ones here. Perhap's I'm gonna be like Robinson Crusoe, or never receive the rescue boat I'm expecting...

Speechless

2005-01-05T23:15:00.000+08:00

Three days of Orientation. Three days of interaction. Three days of ice-breaking.

Had fun. Made friends. Nice.

Quite...

2004-12-26T01:31:00.000+08:00

I was charmed this Christmas day by a musical performance displayed by a Church that my cousins attend at. I came here upon invitation from them and decided for to immerse myself in the Christian religion.

First sight into the hall, saw a tightly packed scenario. It looked ordinary enough, with the usual aisles and long wooden seats recognisable of a church, with the exception of the inclusion of a stage. As a normal routine for Christians attending services, it was mandatory for them to sing praises to the God, and my was the response from the devotees great, oh no, I mean dramatic. Men sang with their thundering bellows to the Psalms and women scaled the pitches into shrieking crescendoes, in worship of their God. However, it sounded throughly refreshing. I followed the crowds in their songs of praise with a heart of admiration for the devotion of the people around me. (You don't get so much of a squeak from sing song sessions...) Arms were in the air too,(mainly for the less reserved and more devout ones) with them kept up and in an action ostensibly of sheer reverence to their God.( The aisles didn't have enough space for total submission :P) But one must be amazed and respectful at such individuals who will live pleasant and fulfilling lives.

A donation bag was passed and I didn't donate one cent.(and Im not proud of that) My cousins placed a dollar bill into a leathery red bag.

The musical, entitled 'At Heaven's Throne', could only have been a depiction of the birth of Jesus. (Its Christmas day!) And though I have heard and watched of Christ's birth many times over, this musical didn't seem boring to me. heh,I haven't the faintest idea why but it was kinda entertaining, with all the songs and dances, and the lightings too-precisely done. There was one part that I enjoyed tremendously. The Choir had done a perfect job in the fast paced song, and the singers too displayed quick integration and expressed the dilemma and jealousy, the King had been facing in a fashion, all too real. It made me feel that a struggle was going on, and successfully turned a slightly agitated King into bubbling hot lava that would engulf anything in its path.

With a musical that turned out well, the day was about to end, save for the Pastor's preachings. Yet again, the word, salvation appeared,(as it had appeared many times in the musical) a Christian belief that in accepting Jesus, you will be washed of your sins, and live with God in Heaven. A thought came to my mind at that very moment, "Is salvation a fact or a belief?" And of course, when the Pastor asked for anyone were inspired by the Christian ways and were willing to accept Jesus, I kept my hands to myself.

To me, religions were created from philosophies, which are interpretations of of the nature, causes, or principles of reality, knowledge, or values, based on logical reasoning rather than empirical methods.(extracted from www.dictionary.com) And in the course of history and integration, political intrusion and social development, such philosophies have developed into religions, to further form theocracies. I feel that all religions have one thing in common, and that's the goodwill that they present. Religions have changed people's lives mostly for the better, through the moral values that they instil and the belief that motivates the person to act with such values. It's too like a familiar that many little children have. The teddy bear or the imaginary friend at your make believe tea party could be the security people would prefer to have. Sharing your problems with God is synomymous to talking to a wall about your family quarrels.

Today sent me back thinking a lot...a real lot...

Abomination

2004-11-22T18:41:00.000+08:00

Of all people, of all the dangerous creatures in the whole. Where did the robbers, snatch thieves, rapists and burglars go? Why had it not been them this time? Why must thing be so tormenting? Of all the vagrant and beggars out there, why must it be him- my best friend. His avarice, overwhelmed him. So much, that I was made a victim of his greed.

I had trust in him. We had built up a strong friendship over 2 years. And now, he had hacked into my account. I trusted him with my password to gew. Didn't really mind when he got me full geared in cpk and tried to convince me that the eq loss was due to his stupidity and not his guile. Well, I believed in him though for a moment i pondered about the credibility of his claims when Matthew reviewed the issue. This wasn't that bad, since his plans were not that obvious.

BUT, it has become all apparent now. Luke is a conniving bastard. Why the drasticity, because he not only cpked me, but destroyed the trust I had for him now. His hacking of item from my character, was not only a loss of equipment, but a depletion of the fidelity we had. He's a dangerous person. The kind who would patiently lie waiting. And then suddenly, pounce on you from behind, knocking you out of your senses and looting your body. A total menace to the world. To think I regarded him as a bosom friend and he betrayed the trust I had for him.

I stared. And stared. And stared. I wondered. I pondered. He placed no value in our friendship. He preferred to be materialistic. He selected material wealth over long term friendships. And I find that very very saddening...

2004-11-19T20:40:00.000+08:00

So it is over isn't it. The O levels. 3 weeks of pure agony. Over liao. Gone. Done with. Finished with it.

Finally.

WOOOOOOPPP!!!!!!!

MMMmmMmMmmMMmMmmMmMMMMMMMMMMM all the wAy!!!!

UGH...

2004-10-23T02:26:00.000+08:00

I have just watched another of those Chinese copycat "action-packed" movies. Only that, it is none like the Matrix.

The story starts with a sexist country where gender dominance tilts the opposite way. It told of a state where women enjoyed exceptional status and men were tortured, despised and treated with disdain. Utterly sexist like. So here we have the show for the female chauvanist instead.

And then along comes a slave merchant (female of course), whom simply cannot resist acting like a total baby. Her pettish actions simply relates to me as being amateurish in her trade and performing a most unsuccessful scam of pretense.

Another female warrior appears into the scenario, supposedly to display her fine talents in fiddling with a crowbar, but turns out performing totally unbelievable manuevoers. Perhaps she could become a Yoga master.

Then, two retards( males this time) appear into scenario and charm these two female heroines with their dusty and rigid charisma.

And then they encounter with a bunch of underground people, coerced by the demonic queen to dwell in the dark caverns beneath. Perhaps the claustrophia and long term deficiency in sunlight exposure altered their mental state, and turned them into herds of sheeps without any minds of their own. Their mimicry and disgusting costumes only gives me one word to describe them: dysfunctional.

The psychopathic queen then discovers out their relationships, and condemns them, to fight each other. Ugh...the rest of the story is explicably stupid. From boob growing men to a spaceship-like palace to a Jackie Chan stone warrior, this movie's a total disaster.

Perhaps its my prejudice against anything related to Chinese(ever since the O levels for Chinese) that I abhor this movie that much. Anyway...the only reason why I watched it was bcos it was full of (always the tool of the moviemaker)...heh...its natural anyway...

And to Samuel Chee, I lied. Im just plain lazy to post a log :P

2004-10-02T19:59:00.000+08:00

Been a few days since the Prelims ended. Wow, I sure boogied(thanks to Chee). Mass played, hogged, miiii-ed(Chinese), and was totally immersed in the Computer. Eyes glued, body riveted, the hand had been flying furiously all over the keyboard. Day after day, I sat at the computer, playing MM day and night, even after midnight, my sneakiness kept me playing. MM, was what I did everyday, MM controlled my life for those few days, I could not do without MM...

A week ago had been the Prelim exams. Yet again, this was last minute work. Everyday had to be rush, speed and efficiency was important. But yet, I slothed the days away, only waiting till the sun went down before I started my nocturnal studying. Thus, it is only logical to conclude that my result won't be nice, instead it would be terribly nasty. And it will be I who will get into a nasty school next year.

Everyday, I hear Victor ranting and raving only being able to enter Innova. Everyday, it seems that he is in as hot soup as I am. But the strangest thing that resulted from such self-destructing thought was a 36/40 for the Bio MCQ. How unfortunately...how sad...perhaps Innova maybe his only choice...

2004-09-09T20:12:00.000+08:00

No time to really blog...gotta study for Prelims...with my Mum shouting at me to get my ass off the sofa, and telling me how green faced Wu Lao Shi's students have studied till, my eyes have to be unstuck from the TV and be goggling at my books now.

So, good day.

2004-08-23T17:02:00.000+08:00

Today started with a speech made by a senior pharmacist from Singapore Changi General Hospital. She looked like your average Singaporean auntie, those whom prowl the markets for bargains and gossip amongst themselves, but there was something discriminating her from them - the degree in Chemistry and Biology.

Her speech was somewhat boring and thankfully short, though that meant more time at sums, lacking the articulation of the previous speakers. She did have the novel idea of making us stand and massage the backs our friends, to shake up the sleepyheads. But she did leave a puzzling question for me- How could Pharmacists who prescribe medicine only, be involved in the research laboratory?

Then it was back to lessons and another three periods with Mdm Esther Teo. And as always, the class never kept quiet during her lessons, and most likely Kenneth Leung and his band of future-to-be doctors were competing in another one of their Eraser War Championships. I, on the other hand, was furiously chionging the VS prelim paper 1. But, I ended up fooling around with Jeremy Ng through the A maths lessons and CME cum Biology lessons by Mdm Nabilah too. He seemed not to be able to control his joking nature and kept mentioning "Tiger beer", which left me laughing all over. (Tis a long story...) And Nabilah most likely blackmarked me today in my erratic behaviours of not completing my work, not even having the courtesy of writing down the answers, and worst of all, reading the Straits Times before her. That sentenced me to a further blackmark on the long list of "Misconduct & Misbehaviours" of mine in her records.

After recess, proper biology lessons resumed, and Mdm Nabilah came back to haunt us. Slowly and deliberately, she called out the names, and the students marched forth to collect their exam results. Mr Wong Zi Jian and Mr Andy Ang scored the top in our class averaging 39.0 marks a point 40 which is almost full marks a point 100% for the MCQ section. I scored a puny 32 marks but at least Yau Meng got a 27, a slight victory by 5 points or 15%. Even the Geek trashed me flatly by 1 mark. Real saddening. The second section further deepened my anguish, by Mdm Nabilah throwing in a sentence of spite," This shows that you are too playful.", and ending it with 29/50 on the paper. And all I could do was smile weakly at her, while my mind was searching for a meat cleaver to smash her with. Jeremy Ng's fate was sealed with a 30, which meant no chance for an A1 and no chance of him beating me this time.(woop?) The Geek scored a 28, amounting to the same as me.(Yay!) Keng Joo could not believe(Ber-leafff) his eyes when I told him Jeremy's score, and kept requesting assurance from me that I was being serious. Lessons ended in Jeremy swearing of a mass studying session at home.

Chinese was all over for me, after that harrowing experience with the Exam papers. And Chinese lessons meant periods in the cool but noisy library. It was meant to be reserved for the reading Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong's National Day Rally Speech( great eh?) but it eventually resulted in a session on biblical studies with Tianwen. Matthew educated me the Christian ways, though it was none of propanganda or touting, but more of a discussion on the logics of Christianity. He taught me the spiritual mind and the physical body, the six days of creation and the Scientific 'Big Bang'. After school, I had another discussion with Shang Qian and he highlighted the social problems related to religion and especially Christianity. I thought of his argument as relevant and could not agree more. He has this powerful ability to express himself in a way that is coherent and realistic. Perhaps it's this special aura he emanates, which sway peoples mind towards him. Unique.

The day ended in me angering Yong Shan in the Library over certain tuition matters of which Samuel Chee had accidentally let me in on. Self-righteous Yong Shan had wanted to keep it a secret between the trio, him Samuel and Kenneth Leong. Perhaps I had been a bit too auntish.

Results

2004-08-13T18:21:00.000+08:00

It was meant to be a terrifying day for me today,12th of August 2004. It had left me sleepless for the last two nights and cringing with fear, sending shivers down my spine. It had been the last two remaining days, till the vicious truth would be made know to me., before, my time would be up.

Today, started with a very boisterous assembly, with many sceptical looks at each other and uncertainties of the day's agenda. Mr. Chew Hua Soon had confirmed with us today had to be it, and William Wee could never agree more. And then,after more sweating and worrying, Mr Alvin Lim had to announce the occasion in front of the whole school. That was enough to set my spincter muscles(perhaps Yongshan may help in this) loose. Maybe, everyone's, and flood the sewage system in Singapore, before the clock strikes 1045hr, then perhaps, everyone would be too busy desperately attempting to escape the wave that had culminated into a tsunami.

Fat hope.

In class, the tension still prevailed. For me, this was not my first time experiencing it. Never had I felt nostalgic of the first, and never will I have it for a third. No retakes for me, no nothing. I greatly reviled it, detested it. The previous had been a terrible shock to me. The contempt I had for it, backfired upon me. I paid a hefty price for my disdain. The shame I felt was devastating, exhausted me completely. My Mum, could not accept it well and it took me 3 days to explain to her. Three days of quarrels and unhappiness. No one could have felt empathy for me then. I deserved it and I knew it. Nil Sine Labore, nothing without labour, I faced it every day but the need for hardwork never occurred to me. I entered the examination hall in high spirits and came out, fearing the worst, but hey, this is Chinese language(CL) "O" levels, not Higher Chinese language(HCL) "O" levels. There is a big difference between the both, the latter being of extreme difficulty and the other "even the dumbest person could get an A1 for it". It appeared countless of times in my mind before, no HCl student disagreed with me. For a HCL student, getting an A1 for CL was no mean feat.

I had travelled into the school six months ago, feeling slightly anxious, but I deemed that as only a notion of the excitement in receiving an A1. It was supposed to coincide with the release of the "O" level results for our Secondary four seniors last year. The periods went past freely, teachers rambling on and the last three were free periods...I still remember vividly. We were made to work on Japan's economic progress for Social Studies, but the HCL students were too excited to concentrate. Chung Chi, had started expressing his fears in Mandarin. He started quoting Mr. Chew as saying," the score for an A1 this year would have to be 82 and above." His words were menacing enough, but my ego kept me from fearing more. If I could even continue in HCL for that long, I was certain, an A1 was possible, even if I had not revised that much. After all, I had only missed 2 marks in the spelling section.

When recess came, I broke off into a sprint, and plunged into the mass of heads suffocating the staircase.I managed to squeeze my way through and descended the seven storeys. A crowd had formed in front of the noticeboards, and hurtled myself into the crowd, but realised the barrier being too strong to penetrate. I tip-toed on my feet and squinted your eyes at the blurred board. I slowly edged my way into the crowd and scanned the board again and spotted the long list of papers tacked onto the board.

I got closer and started searching the board for my name. I could feel my heart racing in me, and at that moment everything manifested.

A B3.

Gladiator

2004-08-03T19:13:00.000+08:00

A truely spectacular and powerful film. Gladiator is the best film I have ever watched and no other film can match up with it. Even Troy and Lord of the Rings: The return of the King can match up with it. A truely touching film, it left me pondering and thinking of the film on the couch. When Maximus fell, poisoned and exhausted to his feet on the hot sandy ground, my eyes were teeming with tears. As Lucilla shouted the few words to the public, after his death, " Is one good man's life worthy of Rome?"

An eclectic mixture of military conquest and gladiatorial combats, Gladiator never fails to excite me. The show starts in a the frontlines of the boundaries of the Roman empire with the Roman legionaries and auxilaries formed up before a dark forest. A headless corpse comes galloping on a horse towards the general, as a germanic barbarian storms out of the forest and flings the head of the soldier at the Romans. They chant their war cries, as the Roman army readies itself. In a few moments, ignited arrows and fiery fireballs rain upon the barbaric hordes breaking the lines of barbarians. The legionaries march forth and locking their shields from the desperate efforts of the barbarian arrows, and advancing closer towards them. Close by, a legion of cataphracts storm towards the back of the Germans with Maximus in the lead. He tramples past the enemy and slashes and strikes down at his foe. The Roman legions reign victorious and they cheer and honour Maximus for their decisive victory.

But sadly, Commodus murdered his father, whom regarded Maximus highly. This caused the loss of Maximus' family and the capture of him. But Maximus' was skilled, and easily laid waste to the praetorian guards out to execute him.

After learning of his family's death, Maximus laid before their graves in anguish and was discovered and sold to a slave merchant. From that time onwards, he became a gladiator and fought for his freedom. Spurred by Proximus' words," Win the crowd, and you'll win your freedom", Maximus went on to annihilate more of his victims. Death was swift, when Maximus wielded his sword, slashing his enemies to death and winning the support of the crowd.

His victories led him to Rome, and from there he entered the magnificent Colosseum right in the heart of Rome. He met his enemy, Commodus, and defied his orders. Salutation was met with a cold hard stare and he turned his back on the Emperor, whom ordered him to remove his mask. Maximus turned around, and at a slow pace, removed his mask and gazed vengefully at the Emperor. "I am Maximus Decimus Meridius, loyal subject to the one true emperor Marcus Aurelius, Commander of the Northern Armies, father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance."

After a few victories at the Colosseum and a conspiracy which failed, due to the cunninest of Commodus, the emperor challenged Maximus to arena, but with the disparity of a poisoned blade stabbed into Maximus' side. Those words of pure evilness still remained in my mind when Commodus spoke to him before the battle, in a slow and menacing tone," I heard from my men, that your son squealed like a girl when he was nailed to the cross and your wife moaned like a whore...when they ravaged her again and again, and again... " The taunting sentence of Commodus' last words utterly enraged Maximus.

The colosseum was littered with red petals of roses upon the sandy ground, as the final battle emerged from beneath. A platform, shielded by the praetorian guards, rose from the undergrounds into the arena. Maximus started drifting off into a reverie, as he caught the last glimpses of sunlight. He seemed to travel back to his small villa, and felt the whistle of the wind against his body, the touch of the wheat plants brushing against his hands. And there it was, the door to it. As he started up for it, a sudden glisten of the sword shiny before him, broke him from his reverie as he blocked it and thrust his sword forth in retaliation. The final battle had begun, and his last foe to kill.

Commodus was eventually killed by his own dagger, after having his sword knocked from his arms and receiving defiance from his praetorian guards, whom had at that moment pledged allegiance to Maximus. In a last slow stab, Maximus forced the dagger into his throat, leaving Commodus spewing blood from his mouth.

A masterful movie, an absolute tour de force, touching me deep in my heart, and impressing my throughly with it's spectacular scenarios and the remaking of the ancient city of Rome. A much worthwhile film than the Matrix, with it's sci-fi, but never beating the cool moves of Russell Crowe. Never had a seen such a beautifully made movie, and understood with such great dept too. Up till now, the chantings of the crowd in anticipation for the Gladiator who defied an emperor, remained in my mind, "Maximvs! Maximvs! MAximvs!"

The Man of every man's dreams...

2004-08-03T18:46:00.000+08:00

SQ, a student from class 4H, is worthy of me calling him the man of every man's dreams.

Sq, a man of many academic achievements, a leader in many of the adversaries encountered in scouting, a conquerer of everyone's greatest fear, and above all, a diligent worker. Any woman would die to get him, even just a touch from him, nothing would stop them even if it means losing their most precious.

He has the talented ability to manipulate my mind, just through the words that he utters. He has that powerful aura, turning all living creatures passive and submissive to him only. The charisma he displays, never fails to attract me, the way he speaks and moves are of great chivalry and gallantry. His voice is as matured and gentlemanly, and the words that pour forth so richly out of his mouth, are of depth and quality, befuddling and overwhelming the nerves in me. Never had I seen, and even made friends with a person of such perfection.

Mastering the enigmatic world of Physics and Chemistry, leaves an intelligent being in him. When everyone are only newbies and possessing only rudimentary knowledge of the subject, he would have mastered the concepts and started in his bid to achieve 105/100 for the papers. Though an amatuer pianist, he has shown true virtuosity in music, entertaining us with his wonderful musical pieces.

A diligent god in scouting, he has far surpassed the level of respectability of juniors and gone on to immortality. Everyone worships him, I especially call him SQ, the master! He has proven himself well in scouting, and the only mistake he made was refusing everyone in the school to bow down to him whenever he went. Humbleness and modesty, are yet another of his countless virtues.

A wonderful person to be with, though he tends to speak diabolically, but that is part of the many well-planned operations which whir wildly through his mind. SQ, the master of the universe, the great emperor, the daring chemist, the aspiring physicst and the stoic philosopher...

A Twisting Tongue

2004-07-30T22:09:00.000+08:00

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck
if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
He would chuck, he would, as much as he could,
and chuck as much wood as a woodchuck would
if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

I love woodchucks :)

The Physics Rep's dilemma

2004-07-25T20:55:00.000+08:00

"When I count to 3 you better give me the book..." These words of sheer treachery, I would remember ever so vividly. And in a few moments, a violent thug let lose all hell. The books were bent in a awful manner and my hands which had tried to hold them ever so tightly succumbed to the stronger arms of Chung Chi, throwing me violently off my desk. He pulled it away from me and slammed the books tightly onto my shoulders with no regard for them. The books were in a dishevelled mess as he threw them onto his desk.

" YOU must learn not to resort to violence!" I screamed at him. He was unabashed and started flipping through the pages and copying the answers. I went back to my desk, incandescent with rage, fuming to the brim of explosion. Lin Zheng came forth and tried to console me but I was too mad to really listen to him. i turned back to my Social Studies Textbook and tried to concentrate on reading it but my heart was not there. I tilted up my head and stared at Chung Chi. He was furiously and mindlessly copying the work.

And then, from the corner of my ear, I heard Zi jian's squeaky voice commenting to Chung Chi, " You shouldnt have done that..."

He swore in mandarin scolding me in everything he said. Zi jian was only half his size, what could he do...

Too bad he never knew why I resisted lending him the book, he was never a Physics rep, or other reps before anyway, or maybe for what I know. He has the same mentality as every other person in the class, and Dharma even commented to me, "Eng Wei, actually your not being responsible, this is just all an act." Yea, an act to curry favour. Thats what he thinks.

Somehow, they do not realise the the two sides to it. People hand in homework, trusting that I will protect their rights in the confidentiality and safety of their books. But sadly there are still some delinquents in our class who prefers to copy homework instead of really sitting down in a corner and spending time doing it. And these people would come on their knees to the Physics rep, begging, pleading and exhorting for a book to copy from. These miserable fools would then resort to violence once their pleas are denied. So these idiots come up to me and say "stop putting on an ACT!". Easier said than done. If they bothered to sit down for a moment and consider what would happen after they took the books, they would realise that I am taking a very big risk in lending them the books to copy. Once the books that they extort from me goes missing or gets damaged, the blame would then be directed towards me. "BLAME the Physics Rep for his imprudence!" yes, they all say. "Anything happens to my book, I'll hold you responsible." another warns. Even Kukuh Dwiputra has lost his trust in me and prefers to hand it in personally to Mrs Seetho, our Physics Teacher. Thus to protect my rights and not get pushed here and there, I exercise stringent controls on the outflow of books from my hands and only loan the books to those who seek the permission and confirmation of those students who are willing to risk it all, just for the happiness of the other useless student.

And yet, Chung Chi prefers not to demote himself to begging or pleading the other students for their books. Since he wants to perform such illicit tasks, he should make the sacrifice. Violence was what he wanted, retribution will be what he gets.

Soon, when next year's March arrives, everything will be evident and he will realise his folly, and so will Daryl Yeo.

A Train Ride

2004-07-25T20:06:00.000+08:00

A train ride. A Mass Rapid Transit train, zooming on the railways elevated from the ground. It storms through the air, and the rumblings reverberate throughout the entire area. Inside, people are sitting in comfort, oblivious to the other's behaviours. A woman drops her bag of oranges, some turn their heads to look at the fallen fruits, others start falling asleep. She scrambles over to pick the fruits and chases a rolling fruit relentlessly. A bunch of boys stare at the woman's clumsiness, attempting to stifle a laugh. While I, can only watch her, with half a mind to want to help her but, the orange fruits seemed to be too far from my reach...

And then, in comes a couple, with a lovely little boy in the hands of the mother. They look for a seat, and find one empy one beside a man. The mother sits down with her child all cuddled up in her arms. As if knowingly, the man beside her suddenly stood up and gave way to the husband who was carry a bag of baby products. They smile at each other and the man walks over to the door and turns and looks at the baby.

The baby was smiling and babbling away, looking around intendedly, as if he had accidentally stepped into wonderland. A shrill cry came out from the baby's mouth, and the mother lifts up a finger to quieten the baby. Many eyes turn towards the baby and the tight lines on their silent serious faces turned into jovial curves. An old woman whose legs dangled freely from the seat broke off into laughter as the child started fingering his mother's face. lA wide and tender smie appeared on the old and wrinkled face, as her face tightened and the flesh was bulging around the rim of her spectacles. She seemed to be in total comfort, despite the effort which was evident on her face. Perhaps it was the boy. Even the old man beside her, whom seemed to have a very strict face, started smiling to one side of his face, his lips growing even longer. His eyes were of different proportions, but each possessed a look of affection.

The old lady lifted her hands and waved it towards the baby, as if she was trying to reprimand the child, but with a very rosy face. The child jumped on his mother's lap and pointed towards the ceiling, he was smiling from ear to ear as he made blabbering sounds of happiness. In his excitement he had lost his balance but his mother's outstretched arms had caught him in his fall. The old lady had a transient look of anxiety and then it turned back to the smiling one as her legs rocked even freely to and fro in her seat. She seemed to treat the little boy as her own kin.

A typical train ride, all too normal, nothing special. But that train ride seemed to a be a total paradox. The coldness of the passengers towards the woman, and the affection the old lady displayed towards the child. Perhaps, the real tenderness and love was much evident in the interactions between the innocent child and the experienced elderly. My heart seemed much lighter after I had witnessed all. Somehow, the heavy burden in my heart had easened, somehow, I seemed to love my parents even more dearly.

Fourty Two

2004-07-13T18:13:00.000+08:00

Been a long while since Ive blogged.(new word?) Just taking a break while I'm getting someone to replacing the midnight oil I had been burning(might decide to use electricity instead).

Ive yet to talk about myself, well, I keep that a secret for the time while(though I reckon no one gives a damn). Nevertheless, my class, 4C, is none lesser than an interesting class. a mixture of students of all standards, different intellectual capabilities and a mosaic of people with different talents whom all fit into the 2004 Class 4C hierachy.

My class, is has the most delectable, mouthwatering and vivacious handsome young man there is(sounds kinda gay). We are a bunch of students, who may be masterminds of wanton mayhem, but we sure do understand the logics of physics, the intrigues of mathematics, the grossness of biology, the enigmatic world of English, the mind corroding world of Chemistry, the morality of CME and the obfuscation of the humanities. In a nutshell, we are an eclectic mixture of elites.

Our teachers are the none the less charismatic and interesting. With Mdm Nabilah constantly on my tail and attempting to mould a mind which resides in the swings of the playground and Mr Phua with his perpetual attempts to finish Maths sums in record time. Not forgetting Mrs Seetho with her usual phrase "boys being boys" and Mdm Kwok, a maven with words, her usual sarcasms often leaving us nonplussed. Chemistry had been tumultous times, for there had not been any permanent teacher that put his heart and will to teach us(Only Mr. Tik was good enough, but sadly the ministry declined to allow Victoria to keep such a meticulous teacher).

42. Thats the number of times I failed to hand in homework(maybe more). Thats the number of times Ive been late for school. Thats the number of times(divided by 3) that Ive pontanged school. And, 42 is the number of students that are in my class. 42 is a great number. It has always been great. Far surpassing those of 34, 10, 27 and the like. Far more beautiful than the other numbers if you looked closely. And too having the privilege of bearing a special standing for our class. For it has always been 42, since Sec 3 and it will always be. If you try to divide 42 by anything, you will never get it to zero, for our spirit is always there, and it is there to instil courage in everyone one of us.

Luke, Boon Tat, Hong Xiang, Samuel Chee, their names will be etched in the records of 4C and so will the other 38. Luke, a person carrying a smile most of the time, is a very enjoyable person to be with. Trustworthy and diligent are the attributes that he possesses ultimately. A very good friend of mine, he is a tall young man, with tanned skin, a very handsome face, free of the scars of pimples and all dimples when he smiles. Excelling in his studies has always been his trademark, for his brains are of much higher order than us.

Xiang Jie, should I say, a joker, in our class. Somehow, it seemed that he possessed hard feelings for me and his hands would get all itchy and fly down on my body with a sharp *thump*. A possible nocturnal creature, he spends his time either idling in class or sleeping. He has a niche for being crass, oftenly resulting a disgruntled Mdm Kwok or laughs of mockery at him.(Haven't got anything to praise him, I dont have a good impression of him)

If your looking for a handsome young man with leadership as his forte, Boon Tat would be the person of your choice. A staff seargent in NCC Land, Boon Tat is a bona fide Casa Nova(sorry to repeat BT, but you are really that attractive), the lady killer, the very man who will make any woman die for you. On top of that, Boon Tat's a very good monitor, he organises things well, and everything goes smoothly with him in the lead.

Samuel Chee. Some call him Cemetery(SameChee, rhymes eh?), but I call him by another, one that no one really uses, because it has a strong Engweish essence. A particularly quiet boy, with a squeaky voice and a rotund body, he is the typical introvert. But behind that mask of inferiority, is a mind which works so furiously, his head literally swells and steams, teeming with information which constantly gets crammed into his mind. The only downside to his extraordinary intellect, is his utter defeat in sums.

Kenneth Leung. The great doctor, the mad scientist and the all-rounded extraordinaire. The smartest guy in our class, and, one of the play ones around too. Getting L1R5 of 6 is no mean feat for him, for his brains work at 109%(form a reliable source) of its capabilities, outstripping and outdoing us. Hes a very jovial creature, for when he smiles, you get a warm feeling rising from your insides, the impish smile, cheering you up.

42 is a big number. 42 is the number of times Im going to say I cant include details of all my friends. 42 is the number of students in my class. We have endured all difficulties together, embraced each other in times of trouble, played really hard and of course, studied real hard.

My memories of 4C will never be obliterated from my memory, not even when Mdm Nabilah threatens to call my parents.

2004-07-04T12:35:00.007+08:00

Never in my life had I felt a day so enriching, so invigourating, so emotional before. From a child to now, I have never felt such affection and warmness. To me, this is a day for myself to remember a threshold in my tumultuous past.

July 2004. Today is the third day of the month of July. The mornings ended in a catastrophe from the GCE Chinese 'O' levels examinations, Listening Comprehension. My heart sank so deeply after the answers were revealed to me, I felt poignant and demoralised, for the efforts I had put in the past three consecutive months had gone to the gallows. For it was this terror, that shook my results, which had been dangling ever so precariously over edge, down to the deep ravine below.

I had given up hope on Chinese, and allowed fate to decide my outcome.

As the thunderclouds rolled away from the sky, the bright sun came out to splash sunlight onto the the tarmac road that I was walking on. This did not, however reflect as a good sign of new hope, but a premonition of doom to me- the hot sunrays baking me, melting every piece of hope left in me.

The afternoons, turned out worst, with my mother rattling on and on about wanting me to stay for lunch. And so of course, I was obliged to stay and be late for the Passing Over parade at 3:30pm.

After my lunch, I got dressed in my scout uniform, with the yellow and red arrow scarf in place around my neck, my father came and picked my sister and I up.

I arrived at the doorsteps of my Chinese tuition teacher's house(had to pass the Oral stuff I borrowed from her) and pressed the doorbell. I drew a circle on the floor using the tip of my shoes, and adjusted my uniform. I clutched the Oral books tightly in my hands and took a deep breath. Somehow, the eyehole in the door made me look at it with exaggerated interest. And then the lock of the door clicked open, and the creaking of the hinges ringed in my ears. At the door, stood a man of around fifty of age, with a paunchy stomach and a moderately wrinkled but handsome face.
It was her husband. He smiled at me and said to me jokingly," I thought you were one of those scouts here for Job week." I smiled back and passed the books to him, and said that it was for my teacher. He took the books and told me to wait while he went to ask her(as she was in the toilet) whether she had anything to tell me.

Standing at her doorsteps, I felt as though it was a year and a half ago, when I first came and considered her as a stranger...that was so long ago, I could hardly remember. And it suddenly seemed to fast, One yr and a half just flew past so quickly, her naggings, her scoldings, all seemed to float away fromm my memories. I felt a rush of emotions throughout my body, and tears had started to well up in my eyes. The gratitude I felt for her was too much for words. Somehow I still felt reminiscent of her lessons. Somehow I felt like listening to her naggings once more. Somehow I felt like the urge to hug her.

Her husband popped up from the corner, and waved to me and told me that she had nothing to say. I wiped my tears and reached out to close the white wooden doors, of which I had so oftenly fumbled for at the end of her lessons. I locked the last of the padlocks, and stood dreamily at her door. A suddenly blast of wind broke me from my reverie and I turned and headed for the staircase.
It was only then, that I realised she was my teacher, a benign and loving one.

I got into the car and my father drove me to my school. I was an hour late when I arrived and the scouts weren't surprised to see me. I was met with the usual sarcasms but this time, It was n't that bad. Somehow they knew and had the same feeling.

We walked together towards the pond for a photo taking session. We stood there smiling, and looking very smart. Jokes were cracked now and then, everyone conversing happily. It was nice seeing them in uniform again.

Then there was the ceremony, were Job week awards and incentives were given, first class certificates given out and the service awards for Secondary Fours given out. Then our Troop Leader, Gregory, one of my contemporaries, gave a well-prepared speech of which a few parts still remained vividly in my mind, "So, it is time for me to pass the baton the next person. But this is not a race, because it doesnt end." A truely touching speech which displayed him relishing his glorious moments in scouting.

In a few moments, the red and yellow arrow flag was passed over to the Secondary threes, and it signified the moment of a new era. Though the duties have been passed over, but it is not over for us Secondary Fours yet. For we have merely passed over our duties. I have made my commitment to continue as a Venture Scout, and continue helping out in the Arrow Scout Group.

The ceremony ended in a buffet dinner for all, as fried noodles and rice, chicken cooked in sauce, fried lemon fish, green vegetables, satay and otak were served. The 3 remaining Sec 4s in my patrol, Raleigh, decided to follow the old tradition of eating together as a patrol, and we waited for the rest. We placed our service plaques together and took many glances at each as we joked with each other. When the whole patrol was here, it became a moment of silence, where the only sound was the slurping of the drinks, and the chewing of the food.

Li Kai passed the three of us the present that the patrol had specially prepared. A shiny metal name tag which could be hung around the neck. It had the words " GOH ENG WEI, RALEIGH PATROL, ARROW SCOUT 01-04" engraved on it. As small gift as it was, I still clutched the nametag tightly in my hands and when I put it into my pocket, I would constantly check to make sure that it was there.
And then I saw the Sec 4s, congregating in the blackness of the night, acting mysteriously. I took my bag and ran towards them.
"We're going to Cedar Campfire wanna come?" Samuel asked." Its the last time we're gonna go to a campfire together..." I pondered over it for a while, but it did not take long, for it was after all, the last campfire I'll be having.
But sadly, Kai Urn found out about us for we had previously rejected the Cedar campfire invitation as it fell on the same day as our Passing Over parade. Being a kind soul as he was, Kai Urn let us off and told us to be silent about it.

I was only in a matter of minutes that we were in a cab and off for Cedar Girl's School. The eight of us split into two groups and promised to rendevous again at Cedar Sec.
The night lights of the Singapore streets flashed by, as the taxi drove along the tree lined roads. The thought of being an uninvited guest kept flashing through my mind, and I was hoping we wouldn't result in a situation of embarassment.
We arrived at the iron bound gates at 8pm and could hear the Emcees singing at the top of their voices along with the campfire songs. We waited for the other four for a while, and they came in a yellow taxi. We went in together, and Samuel confirmed with me that they had called up previously in the taxi and the Cedarians had arranged a seat for us.
We sat down in the midst of groups of scouts and guides, around a campfire circle. Everyone was happily dancing and singing along to the songs. We started singing together, and Patrick and Samuel led us in the dancing with their queer moves and perculiar dances. I was a bit reluctant at first, but then decided to join in the fun, for this was the time for us to let our hair down. We shaked and turned, twisted and twirled, leaped and jumped, performing every single elaborate manoevre there was. I felt a sense of euphoria, constantly laughing and enjoying every moment,. The air of camaraderie seemed to permeate the whole campfire, as everyone danced and sang happily to the songs. Though at times they seemed to be acting lame, but I followed suit the same. My heart felt much lighter from this morning, my spirits were high and I was singing at the top of my voice. I even danced with Jacob on the benches in tune with the romantic song they were playing(though it was abit gay). The day ended in us, being in our own realm, singing our school anthem. This would the last scouting experience, in my last year in Victoria School.

DAY OF JUDGEMENT (An unanimous consensus, definitely)

2004-07-02T16:52:00.000+08:00

Is it a disaster? Or maybe apocalyptic? Or maybe twice as deadly?

Today is the Year A.D. 2004 and the second day of June; The fifteenth day of the 5th month and the Year 93, in the Chinese Calendar. Today is definitely inauspicious.

Let's say, if there was these two groups of wearily-looking,but with a distinctive look of nervousness, students sitting down in the spacious school hall, awaiting two pairs of menacing and evil-looking teachers at the other end of the hall, of whom are armed with a red pen and a scoresheet, having contemptuous looks on their faces of the largly English educated students.And coupled over with students constantly pulling at their necks and draining their sweat, flipping their books desperately attempting to memorise words and simultaneously opening and closing their mouth, as though they were gawking at a group of beautiful girls but without that look of obscenity. What does that make up? -The Unversity of Cambridge Local Examinations Syndicate in collaboration with the Ministry of Education, Singapore, General Certificate of Education Ordinary level, Chinese Examinations for Oral.(if you say this fast enough,Im sure the teacher will admit you into the International Tongue Twisters Competition)

Doesnt it stun you? The very premonition of anything related to Chinese is enough to strike me dead on the floor.

Well...so...ermm...with great trepidation, I sat down with all the other worried looking souls in the Examination(school) hall. Mr Chew, the official CLESICTMOESGCOEOCEO(If you would scroll up,this acroymn means the Chinese Orals,pretty long eh?). I scanned the four examiners, and discovered to my dismay that I was having an old hag and a balding man(hopefully the markers wont see this). The other side wasnt having much luck either, no Ms Cheryl Wong look alike, but a middle aged woman who seemed to have the inability to control herself laughing at the air molecules floating past her, and a woman with silverly long hair(NO, not albinism, but more of old age).

While sitting in nervousness, I kept saying to myself to be calm and confident but I seemed to get nervous, and the nervousness seemed to be getting to myself, making my self even more nervous and nervous, and even the nervousness was worsening my nervousness which was worsening my nervousness.Nevermind...just meditate and stop being nervous,but I seem to be getting too nervous, and the nervousness seems to be getting to me, Im going bonkers with nervousness oh dear my, I thinking Im getting nervous.

And then Mr. Chew called and interrupted my meditation. I trudged off to Mr. Chew's counter and saw the attendance list where he had been disputing over what the A and P stood for, mixing up apples with durians and pears with oranges and stuff...but he got it right when I reached the desk and proudly proclaimed to us of his breakthrough in discovering the actual words: Absent and Present.(Wowwww!!!)

At his desk, the stopwatch was rolling, condensation was forming on the bottle of green tea he had, the attendance sheet seemed to be a swirling cloud of mist in front of me, causing me to start drifting...

Startled out of my reverie, Mr Chew asked us whether there was anything troubling us that we would like to voice, and instinctively I mentioned the topic of nervousness. And all he told me was breathe deeply and drink water. But my legs seemed to feel to weak to walk just a few metres and I continued slouching in the chair awaiting for my turn, and started breathing deeply.

And five minutes was up and I stood up from the baked hot chair and walked(a good impression is mandatory) to the desk with a paper filed into a plastic file. I started reading and attempted at untwisting words which were huddled in a tangled mess. I added emotions to the essay and with a tinge of excitement.

Time seemed to fly when I was reading. It had happened so soon, so quickly. I sauntered to the hot spot(Like I said, Social decorum is of paramount importance in terms of impression) while preparing in my heart for a threshold of my life.

But sadly, nervousness got the better of me
SUMMARY OF MISTAKES DURING THE START OF ORALS

Error #1: the first wrong thing I did was to greet the teacher in the wrong time of the day.
Error #2: Being blur when the teacher expects to end the oral faster, wasnt a very good thing to do, especially in terms of handling with your Nric card...

I read with emotions and feelings and somehow near the end of the essay, I nearly fell into tears...(passage wasnt emotional, I just made it sound all sad,went overboard I guess) The second and third part, should I say disastrously, apolcalyptically, catastrophically(wish I had a Thesarus), terrible. Blabbering, stammering and stuttering (ugh...maybe I need two thesarus')was my niche and I kept using trite cliches, ultimately confusing the marker.

*Sigh*... not too good but at least over, hopefully I wont have to do this again.
(P.S. I hope that you readers note that my title has been exaggerated to show how drastic the Orals was, and take it lightly and not mistake it for I am well and alive.)

Ahoy there!

2004-06-26T19:57:00.000+08:00

"Gather up your spirits my dears, for we are soon boarding Leisure World."
"Wow, what a fantastical trip to paradise" I said sardonically to myself.
"This is an absolute haven..." said my father in a tone I swore he had last used when he stared at awe at how gargantuan the Casino in Genting Highlands was.
"For gamblers..." I muttered, under my breath.
After a rocky and tumultuous trip over the ocean(which wasn't much of a joy ride, but rather a plane ride constantly repeating the loop the loop), we disembarked from the ferry whose smell of people retching had started to permeate the reception counter of the ship. We had our passports checked and followed the line of heads to the next level. Our parents led us to the arcade before scrambling for the Casino on board, after receiving disappointing news of there not being a cybercafe for my sister and I to dwell in. The arcade seemed very dilapitated to me, for it had gaming machines which had missing joysticks and buttons, screens that constantly indulged itself in the sea of blackness. The area was immersed in total darkness, only with the constant flashing of lights from the screens of the gaming machines. There were no windows, and was was a box room of not very large size. It gave me a sense of claustrophobia, and everytime the boat seemed to rock or move, my stomach would start churning and spew up bile. This sensation made me feel terrible and I decided to degrade myself to playing the mindless games at the arcade so as to overwhelm the effects of my sea sickness.

Dinner was served at five thirty, with an eat-all-you-can buffet. Tantalising smells were already emanated from the dining hall when we approached the corridor leading to the dining hall.My stomach was rumbling and was speculating on how secreting hydrochloric acid now or later would differ. We rushed to queue up at the table which had the main courses of rice, fried noodles, braised chicken with cashew nut, Lamb slices in a soury sauce, Stir-fried vegetables and oven-baked prawns. I took a portion of all the delicacies and piled it up high with food, for I was starving and the food seemed...'heavenly'. We found an empty table which had a stretch of red velvet sofa seat for on one side and mahagony armchairs with seats of cushion embroidered with flowers. I tucked into my food and ate heartily for the food was simply...delicious! Half way into the meal, the ship started rumbling and the unused knife was trembling precariously over the edge of the table. I wondered whether it resulted from the movement of the ship and decided to look out of the window. The sea was peaceful and calm, no signs of a disturbance in the waters. The rumbling had started to get worse. tables had started to tremble, people were having difficulty walking with plates of hot food, and the tall hot water container emitted sounds of metal clanking and water splashing. Wild thoughts started flashing through my mind as I endeavoured in my futile attempt to remain calm. Perhaps a cataclysmic earthquake had hit our ship? Or perhaps the ship was being ravaged by a giant squid? Could it be a hijack by perpetrators? I felt myself suddenly perforated with holes with blood gushing out of the round neat wounds on my chest, feeling the intense pain seering through my mind. And suddenly, I was awaken from my nightmare by a prod on the shoulder by the waiter asking whether to clear my food. The rumblings had stopped and everything had returned to normal, only with a few waiters rushing to clean up a few spills. The waiters were ostensibly being calm and going about their normal routines. Or perhaps, I was just being paranoid... Well, this tremulous meal, at least satiated the hunger I had for the past few hours. We ended the meal in a taste buds wetting,mind freshing drink of melon soup(or is that what its called?).

After dinner it was back to the usual routine.(I was hoping we could return earlier) I settled down on a game where you just have to keep on pressing the button and you'll win. The sea sickness was getting to me again and I nearly felt like retching.
At eight thirty, the announcement for the ferry to depart came and my parents fetched us from the arcade, to board the ferry,The Ocean Raider. It was a ride that left me in shambles, rocking me from side to side, upsetting the still digesting stomach of mine, and causing great disturbance to the mind that was trying to desist the manifestation of dizziness.
Upon reaching Tanah Merah Ferry Terminal, I heaved a heavy sigh of relief and swore not to venture on a ship again.

A date with a Martian?(Get real...)

2004-06-25T03:58:00.000+08:00

"Clonaid was founded by former French journalist Claude Vorilhon, the leader of the Raelians. Mr Vorilhon, who calls himself Rael, claims a space alien visiting him in 1973 revealed that extraterrestrials had created all life on Earth through genetic engineering.", excerpt from Straits Times, Thursday,June 24 2004, article on "Cloned baby? Science shows its snake oil."

For what I feel, this guy is definitely a crackpot to me. Having seen an extraterrestrial is strange enough, having spoken to one and even being able to speculate on issues of mankind is seriously out of this world. I wonder why they still allow him to continue his theory on such inane claims, they should put him in a mental asylum if you ask me.

"In a not-too-distant future, advanced cloning technologies will allow us to even recreate a deceased person in an adult body, with all his past experiences and memories, allowing mankind to enter the age of immortality as it has been announced by His Holiness Rael founder of Clonaid, in 1973 alread, after his contact with the Elohim, mankind's extraterrestrial creators," the company said.

They seem to be trying to create another 'The 6th Day", which remains as a scientific fantasy. I am not surprised that they were met with great scepticism, for they seriously need some polishing to work on with their minds to be able to believe in Mr. Vorilhon.

Family mini-fiesta

2004-06-25T02:28:00.000+08:00

(Late post, for 24th of June 2004)
It is yet another boring day of the June Holidays. I woke up at 12pm (Not a very healthy option), and rushed to take my lunch of the usage vegetables and "Sunny Side up" with an extra dish of fresh fried fish, and hurry off for another lesson at my Chinese tutor's house. My Dad couldn't fetch me as he had to meet up with a client at Jurong.

Sat through the whole long one hour journey of the train ride, trying my best to absorb the words in the newspaper that seemed ubiquitous and constantly repeating itself. After admitting defeat my attempt, due to a dearth in concentration and the constant rocking of the train, I decided to reduce myself to just staring blankly at the continuous advertisements on the Mini television on board the North East Line(NEL).

Feeling triumphant about myself for being able to survive the terrifying Nel, I sauntered towards my tutor's house but no soon did I suddenly realise the ordeal that I was about to face, I started getting all tensed up and readied myself for the battle at the frontlines.

Tuition ended with me feeling all exhausted and bleary eyed, with the words "NI YI DING BU HUI JI GE" my tutor had said, pontificating at the difficulty of me scoring well in the Chinese"O" exams, constantly ringing through my mind. How encouraging, I kept saying to myself father picked me up from her house and we went to a hawker centre to take our dinner.

The cornucopia of food at the hawker centre often attracted me to take my meals there. Food ranging from Chicken rice to Hae Mee to Nasi Lemak, simply made me my senses go wild. I settled down on a plate of Char Kuey Tiao, which came on steaming on a banana leaf, supported by a plastic plate. My father chose to devour a plate of Char Siew rice. We both ate heartily and then we drove home with an order of a fish fillet burger from the Macdonald's fast food restaurant for my sister.

When we reached home, we found out to our dismay, that my mother had just arrived home. She wasn't too happy with us not buying any food for her and my sis and dad had a bout over who should take over the responsibility of the problem. Fortunately, I mother mitigated the problem by reducing herself to eating overnight dumpling. Then it was a time of family-get-together-at-the-TV or in a nutshell, four people goggle-eyed at the television.

A Day of Enlightenment?

2004-06-23T22:44:00.001+08:00

Today started with me having to wake up early in the morning at seven thirty. Got lucky and arrived at the bus stop in time for 158.

The Chinese "O" levels Oral examinations was looming closer and I had to prepare for it(mainly requiring it because of myself closing both eyes to the outside world). I couldnt sleep well the last night somehow and had to read myself to sleep, had 5hours of rest time in the end only.

Reached my tuition teacher's house late by 15 minutes at eight forty-five, and was made to settle down staring blankly at the headlines "TI GAO LAO REN DE FANG FAN YI SHI"(whatever that means). I struggled to swim through the words that kept reflecting in my mind as just being armies of brave ants battling the ferocious tarantula that was feasting on them. It took me a while to regain consciousness of my surroundings when my teacher stirred me from watching the spectacular scene.

She then tested me on some of the topics in which my mind was wildly attempting the grasp at the concepts muddled up in my brains. Realising her futile efforts, my teacher starting ranting and raving over the proper behaviour and attitude I should have...then she brought up the horrendous topic that I had tried my best to avoid in the past few months- the failure at the last Chinese O levels, which deemed me unfit to remain in the Higher Chinese Stream, of which I had a cataclysmic showdown with my mother over the question on pride. My tutor mentioned a student, one of my contemporaries, of have grasped a lower standard of in Chinese, but yet still far surpassing me in the "O" levels examinations. It was because of his attitude, his sedulous aims at excelling the subject, his immaculate method of working, that caused him to overwhelm me. And I, on the other hand, was slacking away, having mindsets of belittling the subject, indolent in my every endeavours in preparing for the Chinese examinations,have had no interest in my work at all, and concentrating all my efforts on the one that had completely changed my mind and made me place my fate in its hands; The very paradigm of evil, destroying the lives of many people, turning them into advocates of their own destruction,unconsciously- The Computer.

Then I started reflecting, had my past attitudes been morally correct? The addiction, was it worthwhile? Is my future worth wasting over it? My tuition teacher said I was a bright boy, but it was because of this addiction that undermined my intellectual abilities and left me with nothing but the scraps of society, if I continue venturing towards this path of evil, it will only result in me being reduced to nothing but waste material, no better than the piles of trash stacked up high in the landfills. No one would want me, love me, let alone keep me. I would only die in the flames of Hell if I were to continue my foolishness.

Somehow...I felt her efforts were just attempts to bamboozle me. Somehow, they were words of kindness, acts of benignity, ever so loving, only felt from the love of my parents. Right now I do not know what to do, I just feel ever so confused...should I change?

Introduction:My Confessions

2004-06-22T04:45:00.000+08:00

First day of posting, the start of my career in this so called interactive online diary, embarking on the very trail of revealing my daily affairs to the public world. Introduced and made interested into this online program, I decided that it would help alot towards tightening my slackening grasp of the English Language(well maybe a bit).

Confession #1
There is this evil that resides in every human being, whereby behind their facade of well meaning, there is this avarice in them, not to unrelentingly top their coffers but to gather greater fame and publicity. These deeds are often done unconsciously and causes others to be intimidated. I, undeniably am one of these people, and I feel remorseful for not being able to escape from this detestable characteristic.

Confession #2
I am an Atheist. I do not really believe in God. I feel religion is just a recourse for people to turn to in times of adversity. Of
course I will respect their cultures and ways.
But, there is one paradox that intrigues me, and that is that of the scientific truth and the few pages of the Bible.The christian Bible tells us of the world being created in seven days and man coming into the world almost immediately after it was created. Whereas the scientists and researchers and discovered that man was created only 65 millions years after the dinosaurs once rampaged the Earth and millions more of years when the Earth of created. Which is more credible? I do not know. Many things have occurred paradoxically, the researchers might be wrong. The Bible was written by someone anonymous to me and he could have folded the facts to create a fantastical story of his own, there is always a possiblity. One more thing would be what I learned in unravelling the sciences- Babies resulted from incestuous relationships have been proven to have a high chance of deformity, if Adam and Eve's offspring were to reproduce, and so one, wouldnt this world know be a place of abnormality?
These are just some of the queries I have about the validity of the revelations recorded in the Bible, not a means to inveigh against Christianity and to never to be an attempt to indoctrinate
a different set of ideas in them.

I have been very open about my beliefs and hope they do not culminate into uneasy tensions.
These may be treated as immatured and sceptical, but I would wish that these doubts of mine be clarified.